Let’s be honest, post-nut cleanup has never been glamorous.
From the ancient sock to the questionable bathroom towel, generations have made do with whatever was within reach… and regret followed shortly after.
But now, history changes.
Introducing: JERKMATE WIPES , the first-ever tissues made exclusively for your solo victories.
We’re not talking about some basic tissue box you’d leave on your nightstand “for allergies.” No, no. This is elite post-nut technology™, designed to handle what others can’t.
WHY IT’S DIFFERENT (AND WHY YOU’LL NEVER GO BACK)
Soft as a cloud.
Because your junk deserves better.
Strong enough to face your shame.
And whatever came with it.
Purpose-built.
This isn’t for your runny nose, Karen.
Limited Edition.
Once it’s gone… you’re back to socks. Choose wisely.
THE LINEUP (BECAUSE YES, THERE’S MORE)
Jerkmate Wipes : The OG box. Sleek. Functional. Intimidating, in the best way.
Pocket Edition : Take care of business anywhere. Car? Bathroom? Grandma’s house? We won’t ask.
The Cover of Shame : Hiding your wipes in plain sight with “Totally Not Suspicious” box art like shocked cats or smiling grandmas. No one has to know. Except us. We know.
The Perfect Post-Nut Pack : Get the box + pocket pack + a cover. You deserve the full experience.
WHERE TO BUY
🛒 Available exclusively on jerkmateshop.com
💨 Limited quantities. No restocks.
📦 Shipped discreetly, obviously.
Final Thoughts?
You’ve wiped with worse.
Time to wipe with purpose.
