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Celestial Coomer T-Shirt

Celestial Coomer T-Shirt

Regular price $32.00
Sale price $32.00 Regular price
Shipping calculated at checkout.
The Celestial Coomer t-shirt is a battle crest, a mark of honor, and a sacred relic for those who have reached the peak of self-pleasure mastery. Only the most seasoned, disciplined, and unrelenting stroke warriors can don the Celestial Commer title. It’s not given—it’s earned. And only a true champion, or the undisputed fap god, can receive this t-shirt. You must be a legal adult to purchase this product.
Size: S
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