Jerky Plushie
Jerky Plushie
After posing with camgirls on red carpets and haunting our social feeds like a plushy icon in denial, your favorite weird little mascot is finally shoppable.
Yes, by popular demand (and questionable taste), the Jerky Plushie is now available for your guilty pleasures.
Limited edition because not everyone deserves a squeeze.
Material: Ultra-soft polyfill, charged with loyal intentions and plush perversions
Height: 10 inches of emotional dependability
Head Width: 8 inches of oversized empathy
Body Fit: Palm-sized. Shame-absorbent. Dangerously portable.
Vibe: Pillow pet / Cuddle accomplice / Strategic bedtime enabler
Is it machine washable?
Is it machine washable?
Yes. Unlike your search history.
What if someone asks what Jerkmate is?
What if someone asks what Jerkmate is?
Say "luxury." Then walk away.
Is this real merch?
Is this real merch?
As real as your last “just one more video” promise.
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